Grumble, Grumble

I had a rather unhappy late puberty-early adolescence. (There breaths a man?) So yesterday when I received an email promoting a certain prominent psychiatrist who treats addiction, which was tied to the presumptive addiction related death of Whitney Houston I had a hard time resisting the urge to hit reply and write a scathing email.

Why? Because when I was 14 years-old he was my shrink and he bilked my father’s insurance company for thousands of unearned dollars and misdiagnosed me. Had he taken the time to listen to me he would have realized I was an exceptionally angry kid who was still highly pissed off at his selfish parents and their divorce. Yeah, I smoked a lot of pot and was out of control, but in the parlance of pop-psychology I was acting out for attention.

I didn’t send the email and it surprises me just how angry I was yesterday, 27 years later.

I decided, instead, to be an adult and use my anger constructively. So I quit smoking.

I’m sure there are psychologists and other professionals out there who say it won’t last. Maybe it won’t.

Screw ‘em: today I’m a non-smoker.

3 Responses to “Grumble, Grumble”

  1. RayS

    The physical side is gone in a week and you’re tough enough to get through that.

    I know alcoholics who haven’t had a drink in years, smokers who haven’t had a cigarette in years. They’re still alcoholics and smokers. After smoking for 47 years, I woke up one morning and found it was no longer ego-syntonic – I could no longer see myself as a smoker; it didn’t match my self-image..

    When looking in the mirror and saying “I’m a smoker” feels as foreign, as unnatural, as ‘un-you’ as saying “I’m a pedophile”, you won’t be a smoker and won’t miss it.

  2. Tina

    I hope the kids survive.. I hope you win the battle and the war!

  3. admin

    I’m hanging in there. The patch is doing good work and all will be well. I know I have a few days yet until I am out of the woods, but I’m starting to believe!

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