Anecdotes From Cubicle Hell

“So, can you tell me your two best qualities?” the interviewer asked.

“First, I’m persistent. I never give up. I’m like a pit bull with a bone. No one is going to take it away from me,” I said.

“Second, I excel at creative problem solving,” I said. “Throw up brick wall, force me to deal with a gatekeeper, and I am going to find away around both, or blow ‘em up. And walk right through,” I said. (I was interviewing for a sales position.)

The interviewer nods. Scribbles some shit in his notepad, purses his lips in a half smile and nods at me again.

I think to myself, “Hell, I got this one locked up. I rock!”

“So, what are two weak points you have?” He asks.

“First, my filter is broken. I tend to say what I think, as I am thinking it. The whole ‘think first, speak second’ thing doesn’t work for me anymore.”

The interviewer’s eyes widened in shock. “And, second?”

“Second, I expect more original questions out of interviewers, especially at high profile and creative software companies,” I said.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

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